A Practical Guide to Confident, Natural Networking
I got asked by a client this week for insights into more effective networking. Seeing as most people find networking awkward, I thought the best approach was to think about how networking can come to us more naturally… and this list of 10 ideas was born.
What would you add to this list?
1. Do more networking
The more we network, the easier it becomes. True story.
2. Reframe the purpose of your networking
Networking feels less threatening when it stops being about, “How do I come across?” and becomes more about, “What can I learn here?”
A useful shift:
- Not: “I need to say the right thing”
- But: “I’m here to understand interesting people and ideas”
Ahhhh… so much more appealing!
3. People are not judging you as harshly as you assume
A lot of networking anxiety comes from poor mind-reading attempts. Are you telling yourself, “They think I don’t belong here”?
The truth is most people you meet at networking events and conferences are not thinking about you at all. They’re most likely thinking about themselves and how awkward they feel.
4. Reframe how you’re imagining people view you
Pesky imposter thoughts are so annoying… and they often pop up when you’re trying to come across at your best.
Say you’re trying to build a connection with someone more senior than you.
If you’re worried they’re thinking, “Who on earth is this person?”
They could in fact be thinking, “Hmm, this person is intelligent and interesting.”
(Note: you probably need to be intelligent and interesting as well – at least a little bit).
5 . Make your introduction values-based, not title-based
I sometimes make the mistake of introducing myself by referring to my work and what I do. Let’s be honest – that’s boring.
Instead of leading with a job title as your source of authority, try starting your conversation by asking a question:
“I’m Bronia – I work for company/industry X, and I’m particularly interested in ABC… which is what brought me here today.”
Then immediately turn it back:
“What brought you here?”
Suddenly it’s them talking and you learning.
6. Let them talk
Strong networking is about creating space for others to open up.
Good questions you could ask:
- “What brought you into this field?”
- “What is your organisation currently prioritising?”
- “How is AI/industry change X affecting what you do?”
You don’t need to dominate the conversation – being a thoughtful listener is often a lot more valuable.
7. You don’t need to meet absolutely everyone
Have you ever entered one of those events and felt overwhelmed by the sheer volume of people in the room? Where to start?
A more effective strategy: aim to make 1–2 meaningful connections. That’s it.
8. Ask for ‘small decisions’, not big favours
Going back to purpose, opt to make a small, bite-sized request rather than for a direct referral or making a big ask.
Instead of “Can you refer me to your company?” try: “Who’s the best person I should learn from about this?” or “Who might you know you could connect me with?”
9. Follow-up is super valuable
The first conversation at your event is just that: a first conversation. I have found that following up with people you meet within the next 24-48 hours is invaluable.
Simple approach:
- Send a short LinkedIn message within 24–48 hours
- Mention something specific they said
- Optionally share a relevant article or idea
- Keep it light and human
- Don’t make big asks
For example:
“It was great meeting you yesterday [name] at event X. I really enjoyed what you said about X / I really enjoyed our conversation about Y. It stuck with me because Z. Thought you might find this article on ABC interesting.”
(And send them a third party article that they would genuinely value).
10. Be an active alliance builder
I prefer the concept of ‘alliance building’ versus ‘networking’. If you’re building alliances and useful working relationships, you’re being super proactive while ‘networking’ – to me, anyway – feels passive.
Think of the people revolving around you like they’re connected in a matrix. The more you connect and re-connect with people either at events, over coffee, on Linkedin, by the water cooler… the easier the relationship becomes and the stronger your alliance becomes too.
Other resources:
If you liked this list a lot… you might enjoy some other resources from our free bank of resources @ Illuminate Leadership Growth:
From the podcast:
How to Build Your Network Quickly and Land Better Leadership Opportunities (14 mins)
How to Stop Giving Meaning to Setbacks & Empower Yourself (13 mins)
Learn My Bullet-Mentoring Method and Build Expertise Fast (14 mins)
Leadership Fundamentals: Communication and Accountability (13 mins)
Stop Playing in the Weeds! Start Being Strategic About Your Career (10 mins)
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