{"id":1173,"date":"2020-09-14T11:09:20","date_gmt":"2020-09-14T11:09:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/?p=1173"},"modified":"2020-09-21T07:20:11","modified_gmt":"2020-09-21T07:20:11","slug":"5-truths-success","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/5-truths-success\/","title":{"rendered":"VIDEO: 5 Truths to Define What &#8216;Success&#8217; Means to YOU"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/player.vimeo.com\/video\/457698035\" width=\"640\" height=\"360\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<div>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">\u00a0[Watch the video lesson above or read if you prefer] \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Success<\/em>, <em>esteem<\/em> and <em>confidence<\/em> are all part of the same ecosystem.<\/p>\n<p>Healthy esteem builds confidence&#8230; and confidence helps you create more of the successes that you want in life.<\/p>\n<p>But what <em>is<\/em> &#8216;success&#8217;? What does it mean?<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Truth 1:\u00a0 It&#8217;s up to <em>you<\/em> to define &#8216;success&#8217; for yourself<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>We live in a really pressurised era and I think we would all agree, women have a particularly difficult time of it.<\/p>\n<p>Women are constantly living with a pressure to conform to a stereotype of what \u2018success\u2019 (apparently) looks like&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Whether it&#8217;s about the kind of career you\u2019re having, the kind of mother you are, how well behaved your children turn out, how you look, the lifestyle you lead\u2026 the list goes on and on\u2026<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know about you,<em> but I\u2019m over it<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m really fed up seeing magazine headlines about weight loss and fillers and make up tips and diets whilst seeing endless glamorous title photoshoots of celebs who look 20 years younger than they really are (which is apparently to be idolised and celebrated).<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019m here to say this, as you search to define what <em>success<\/em> means to you: <em>you don\u2019t have to conform to any vision of success that doesn\u2019t actually suit you.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>You get to choose.<\/p>\n<p>The media constantly preys on women\u2019s esteem, telling us we&#8217;re <em>not<\/em> good <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> smart <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> strong <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> young <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> wrinkle-free <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> pretty <em>enough<\/em>, <em>not<\/em> thin <em>enough<\/em>\u2026<em>not enough<\/em>\u2026 <em>not<\/em> enough\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Well, <strong>ENOUGH<\/strong> of the <em>not-enough<\/em> already!<\/p>\n<p>It\u2019s time to define what success (and more importantly, <em>happiness<\/em>) mean to YOU.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>And it\u2019s actually really, really simple&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p><strong>&#8216;Success&#8217; comes when your values are being met and when the biggest ones aren\u2019t compromised (by you, or anyone else).<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>That. Is. It.<\/p>\n<p>If your values \u2013 your highest priorities \u2013 are being met, then you\u2019re already well on your way to a positive track of \u2018success\u2019.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1175 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-300x200.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-600x400.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-1024x682.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-1536x1024.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/2woman-cofee-adobe-small-2048x1365.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Truth 2: Comparison is a killer<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Look at celebrity culture. You always see the end product: glitzy, groomed, manicured, well styled people who look a million dollars.<\/p>\n<p>What we forget, as we watch the red carpet fanfare, are the back stories of these people.<\/p>\n<p>Being human beings and all, celebrities have often had hard times, setbacks and hardship.<\/p>\n<p>But all we see if this polished exterior and a glitzy &#8216;end product&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>And because of the razzmatazz we assume subconsciously that these celebs must <em>always<\/em> be polished, must always be successful and must always feel happy\u2026 when in truth, that can\u2019t possibly be true because they are humans just like us, having a<em> very human, very imperfect experience<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Take J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series (amongst other books).<\/p>\n<p>What we forget when we see her in her ballgowns and her $1bn net worth success, is that she started off as a single mum on benefits, furiously writing her Harry Potter manuscripts in coffee shops around London and sending them off to endless publishers only to be rejected before the <strong>13th one<\/strong> actually published her books.<\/p>\n<p>Success didn\u2019t happen for her overnight. She worked really hard, having plenty of setbacks along the way.<\/p>\n<p>What can we learn? That comparing ourselves to others is not just exhausting, it&#8217;s really, really pointless.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1177 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-300x200.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-300x200.jpg 300w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-600x400.jpg 600w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-1024x683.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-768x512.jpg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet-1536x1024.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/mumstreet.jpg 1650w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Truth 3: Success is never linear<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When you imagine what success might look like, you may picture a sort of straight line that just goes up and up.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t know about you but every project I have ever worked on: putting shelves up, parenting, baking cakes, chairing meetings, running 6-month projects, managing committees, learning Mandarin, parenting (again), moving countries&#8230; the journey has never been a straight upwards curve towards victory.<\/p>\n<p>There have <em>always<\/em> been set backs, mistakes and learnings.<\/p>\n<p>Success has never just &#8216;happened&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>Stuff will always happen to slow you down, make you re-think or even u-turn. You&#8217;ll meet difficult people who block your progress and have to stop patiently to solve tricky problems.<\/p>\n<p>Step by step, you make progress\u2026. but <em>progress<\/em> isn\u2019t what people crave. They want total success&#8230; and they want it NOW!<\/p>\n<p>Because apparently success happens overnight.<\/p>\n<p>But it doesn&#8217;t. That&#8217;s not life. That&#8217;s not reality.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>Things worth seeking are worth working for. Even those celebs who appear to have everything have had to work really, really hard to get it.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1176 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-300x200.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-600x400.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-1024x682.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-1536x1024.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Bag-ADOBE-small-2048x1365.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Truth 4: A fluid definition of success for women is critical<\/strong><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Women famously \u201cmulti-task\u201d\u2026 which just means we have a lot on our plate, let\u2019s be honest.<\/p>\n<p>Here are just some of the roles we take on:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Primary care giver (for our children, parents or other loved ones)<\/li>\n<li>Social organiser (do you manage the social diary for a family of 4 too?)<\/li>\n<li>School admin (there&#8217;s so &#8230; so&#8230; much school admin)<\/li>\n<li>Careerist (oh yes, I am also looking at building a thriving career)<\/li>\n<li>Housekeeper (most chores still land on our laps)<\/li>\n<li>Support and connector (to friends and family who need us)<\/li>\n<li>Grocery shopper (endless&#8230; but at least there&#8217;s online delivery) \ud83d\ude09<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Of course all of this is a <strong>choice<\/strong>.<\/p>\n<p>We can choose to take on as many tasks as we like. We can seek help. We can delegate.<\/p>\n<p>But what I think a lot of us women try to do is MASTER all of these activities all at the same time.<\/p>\n<p>Am I right?<\/p>\n<p>Interestingly, the definition of \u201cmastering any skill\u201d is putting your heart, mind, soul and body into it\u2026<\/p>\n<p>So if you&#8217;re one of those women who tries to take on everything all at once (and expect to excel)&#8230; let me ask you this: how can you possibly thrive, at 100% capacity across ALL of those responsibilities, simultaneously?<\/p>\n<p>The short answer is, <em>you can\u2019t<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>To be successful\u2026. you need to define what &#8216;success&#8217; means for you <em>at any one time in your life<\/em>.<\/p>\n<p>Your definition needs to <em>adapt<\/em> to your changing life and career circumstances&#8230; otherwise you will burn out. Or catch on fire. Whichever one comes first.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter wp-image-1178 size-medium\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-300x200.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"200\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-600x400.jpeg 600w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-1024x683.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-1536x1025.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/09\/Blonde-glasses-ADOBE-small-2048x1366.jpeg 2048w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Truth 5: To be successful you need firm boundaries\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Now this one isn&#8217;t in the video lesson&#8230; I thought I&#8217;d throw it in for free&#8230; because it&#8217;s important and anyway, I thought of it after the recording was done&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>To accomplish success and happiness &#8211; because we want both after all &#8211; it&#8217;s really, really important to have some boundaries in place.<\/p>\n<p>That DOES mean saying &#8216;no&#8217; to some things.<\/p>\n<p>And delegating tasks out (refer back to Truth 4).<\/p>\n<p>It means putting yourself first at times and training people how you want them to treat you.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>So let\u2019s summarise all of that (incase you skipped to the end):<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>1. &#8216;Success&#8217; is living your life and career in alignment with your values.<\/p>\n<p>2. Judge yourself <em>only<\/em> on your OWN definition of success and stay in your own &#8216;lane&#8217;.<\/p>\n<p>3. Regularly acknowledge and celebrate every little thing and action that makes you awesome.<\/p>\n<p>4. Remind yourself that you&#8217;re always doing <em>the best you can with what you have.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>5. Set and communicate your boundaries to keep you on track&#8230; and to keep you sane. \ud83d\ude09<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>What are <em>your<\/em> strategies to define your own success?<\/p>\n<p>Rebecca x<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-1116 \" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Square-Reb-2020-150x150.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"95\" height=\"95\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Square-Reb-2020-150x150.png 150w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/08\/Square-Reb-2020-100x100.png 100w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 95px) 100vw, 95px\" \/>BIO: Rebecca Allen has coached hundreds of female managers over the last decade to help them realise their true potential and become their brilliance. <a href=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/products\">Our virtual courses<\/a> are designed to empower you to take control of your career, pave the way to your success and to get ahead \u2013 not just professionally but personally too.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 12px;\">\u00a9 Rebecca Allen, Illuminate Personal Growth. All rights reserved. To replicate part or all of this article please seek written permission first.<\/span><\/p>\n<div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0[Watch the video lesson above or read if you prefer] \ud83d\ude42 &nbsp; Success, esteem and confidence are all part of the same ecosystem. Healthy esteem builds confidence&#8230; and confidence helps you create more of the successes that you want in life. But what is &#8216;success&#8217;? What does it mean? &nbsp; Truth 1:\u00a0 It&#8217;s up to&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1213,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[27,32,30,66],"tags":[58,59,38,57],"post_series":[],"class_list":["post-1173","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-career-development","category-mentoring-for-women","category-mindset-career","category-success-strategies","tag-career-coaching","tag-confidence","tag-positive-mindset","tag-success-strategies","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>VIDEO: 5 Truths to Define What &#039;Success&#039; Means to YOU - Rebecca Allen Career Coach for Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"VIDEO: 5 Truths to Define What &#039;Success&#039; Means to YOU - Rebecca Allen Career Coach for Women\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"\u00a0[Watch the video lesson above or read if you prefer] \ud83d\ude42 &nbsp; Success, esteem and confidence are all part of the same ecosystem. Healthy esteem builds confidence&#8230; and confidence helps you create more of the successes that you want in life. But what is &#8216;success&#8217;? 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