{"id":2650,"date":"2022-05-18T01:57:18","date_gmt":"2022-05-18T01:57:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/?p=2650"},"modified":"2025-05-06T06:40:59","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T06:40:59","slug":"narcissistboss","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/narcissistboss\/","title":{"rendered":"Is Your Boss a Narcissist?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most painful and frustrating corporate experiences is <strong>having a narcissist for a boss<\/strong>, am I right?<\/p>\n<p>If you&#8217;re unlucky enough to fall into this category&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Your boss is most likely&#8230;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Pretty self-absorbed&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Disinterested in whether or not s\/he hurts your feelings&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Might present your work as their own&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Regularly behaves in an inappropriate way&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>And may even inflate their own credibility and the impact they&#8217;re making to others.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><em>Gee<\/em>, it&#8217;s wearing having to manage someone like that!<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"wp-image-2217 aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-1024x683.jpeg\" alt=\"\" width=\"548\" height=\"365\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-1024x683.jpeg 1024w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-300x200.jpeg 300w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-768x512.jpeg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-1536x1024.jpeg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-2048x1366.jpeg 2048w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/12\/Slumped-ADOBE-small-600x400.jpeg 600w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 548px) 100vw, 548px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>But here&#8217;s a tip&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>(Because I&#8217;ve had my fair share of narcissists to manage throughout my life too)&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And this tip could literally revolutionise how you&#8217;re approaching this tricky situation&#8230;<\/p>\n<h3>How to Manage a Narcissist<\/h3>\n<p>So here&#8217;s the tip:<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don&#8217;t judge narcissists on your\u00a0<span style=\"text-decoration: underline;\">own<\/span>\u00a0values&#8230;<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Because\u00a0<em>you don&#8217;t value the same things<\/em> as them&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>(And you probably never will).<\/p>\n<p>So let&#8217;s zoom in on this together shall we?<\/p>\n<p>Your narcissist will have his\/her own set of values&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Things like:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Being superior&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Themselves&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Looking good&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Getting ahead, no matter what&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Their personal success&#8230;<\/li>\n<li>Oh, and did I mention <em>&#8216;themselves&#8217;<\/em>?\u00a0 \ud83d\ude09<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/22Qe6iLP7tmYutZkCW\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Now where you&#8217;re probably getting really, REALLY frustrated&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Is that you&#8217;re probably judging their &#8216;terrible&#8217; behaviour on your\u00a0<strong>own<\/strong>\u00a0values&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And so you&#8217;re expecting them to<strong> respond like you<\/strong> would&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>But they never, ever will.<\/p>\n<p>Say for example, <em>your<\/em> values are:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Validating others<\/li>\n<li>Collaboration<\/li>\n<li>Getting results for the team<\/li>\n<li>Personal respect<\/li>\n<li>Listening to others&#8217; ideas<\/li>\n<li>Kindness*<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>*(These might not be your exact values, but hopefully you get the idea)&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>By judging\u00a0them\u00a0on\u00a0<strong>your\u00a0own<\/strong>\u00a0values&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;re going to be perpetually disappointed&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Because they will most likely\u00a0<strong>never EVER <\/strong>behave in a way that meets\u00a0your\u00a0values.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"https:\/\/media.giphy.com\/media\/mEhklevjYbzlxCFW2n\/giphy.gif\" \/><\/p>\n<p>\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b<\/p>\n<p>Narcissists are near-impossible to deal with&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>But your frustration in dealing with them can be avoided&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>If you just stop judging them on<em>\u00a0your own\u00a0<\/em>values.<\/p>\n<p>Instead&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>\u200b\u200bStart asking yourself what it is\u00a0<em>they<\/em> value and it may go some way to explain their (terrible) behaviour.<\/p>\n<h3>Don&#8217;t Try to Change a Narcissist<\/h3>\n<p>A second tip before I go (and this one really comes from experience) is this:<\/p>\n<p>Don&#8217;t waste your energy<em> trying to change<\/em> a narcissist or their behaviours!<\/p>\n<p>Any advice you choose to give them will invariably fall on deaf ears.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Do yourself a massive favour<\/strong>&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>C\u200b\u200bhange <em>your<\/em> environment instead and find people who <em>do<\/em>\u00a0validate your inputs&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>And not only will you be able to deliver better results at work&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>You&#8217;ll be a lot happier too.\u200b\u200b\u200b\u200b..<\/p>\n<p>And your happiness truly matters.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-2627\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/04\/Rebecca-x.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"162\" height=\"56\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft wp-image-1981\" src=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-768x1024.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"68\" height=\"91\" srcset=\"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-768x1024.jpg 768w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-1152x1536.jpg 1152w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-1536x2048.jpg 1536w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-600x800.jpg 600w, https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/10\/Rebecca-Allen-purple-headshot-min-scaled.jpg 1920w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 68px) 100vw, 68px\" \/>I&#8217;d love to help you get new outcomes in your career. If you&#8217;re ready and curious to learn more about yourself,<a href=\"https:\/\/www.register.illuminategrowth.com.au\/scheduleyourcall\"> schedule a 15 minute Career Strategy Call<\/a> with me. Share your career challenges and I guarantee you&#8217;ll get some fresh thinking and actions straight away. Let&#8217;s get you back on track. Yup! It <em>is<\/em> that simple!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>One of the most painful and frustrating corporate experiences is having a narcissist for a boss, am I right? If you&#8217;re unlucky enough to fall into this category&#8230; Your boss is most likely&#8230; Pretty self-absorbed&#8230; Disinterested in whether or not s\/he hurts your feelings&#8230; Might present your work as their own&#8230; Regularly behaves in an&hellip;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":5428,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[69,64,127],"tags":[135],"post_series":[],"class_list":["post-2650","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-difficult-people","category-managing-others","category-managing-work-relationships","tag-managing-difficult-people","entry","has-media"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v26.9 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Is Your Boss a Narcissist? - Rebecca Allen Career Coach for Women<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Does your boss drive you crazy? 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