{"id":832,"date":"2020-05-02T06:49:01","date_gmt":"2020-05-02T06:49:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/?p=832"},"modified":"2025-05-06T07:36:21","modified_gmt":"2025-05-06T07:36:21","slug":"read-rebeccas-latest-womens-network-australia-magazine-article","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/illuminategrowth.com.au\/staging\/read-rebeccas-latest-womens-network-australia-magazine-article\/","title":{"rendered":"Read Rebecca’s Latest Women’s Network Australia Magazine Article"},"content":{"rendered":"

Why Self-Kindness is the New Motivator<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Author: Rebecca Allen<\/p>\n

Being in business can be tough. You have to have guts, a thick skin, boundless enthusiasm and maintain high levels of energy to drive your products or services towards future success. There can be unexpected setbacks, periods of isolation and a plethora of daily \u2018unknowns\u2019 to wade through and overcome.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

One thing I\u2019ve learned, having been in business for a decade, is that whatever is going on in your business it\u2019s essential that you remain unyieldingly kind to yourself.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I remember having this conversation with a client a while ago. She was telling me that she needed to be highly self-critical of her performance to ensure she achieved results.<\/p>\n

\u201cCould you get the results without being so scathing of your performance?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n

\u201cI don\u2019t think so,\u201d she replied. \u201cIt\u2019s just the way I\u2019ve always motivated myself.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cSo, what\u2019s the cost of that?\u201d I asked. After a long pause she answered,<\/p>\n

\u201cWell, I\u2019m exhausted. I don\u2019t sleep well\u2019 I\u2019m always thinking of everything I need to do tomorrow. I criticise myself constantly and even when I do really well, I immediately berate myself over what I could have done better. To be honest, I don\u2019t like being this way. I\u2019ve started to become critical of my kids too – which I absolutely hate.\u201d<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

There has to be a better way to get results, and there is! This conversation with my client brought a smile to my face because I recognised my old-self in her perception of \u2018how things needed to be\u2019. Sustained self-criticism is no way to motivate: it is soul-destroying and draining. Far better is to become habitually self-kind, encourage self-reflection, welcome learning and all within a framework of setting fair expectations.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

I used to be a rigid high-performer, mildly obsessed with perfection and hell bent on flogging myself to achieve the highest of outcomes. My turning point occurred when I became a mum. Suddenly, my first baby (my business) had to take a second row seat! I realised I was now doing two full-time jobs simultaneously and that something had to change, or I would sink. I decided two things had to change immediately: firstly, my expectations of what was possible and secondly, how I defined what success within any 24 hour-period meant to me.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

By staying true to those two benchmarks over the years, life and business have both become easier. I celebrate more, find genuine joy from every learning and prioritising my focus has naturally reduced overwhelm. In fact habitual self-kindness motivates me daily to be the person I want to be.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Here are some tips to help you bring greater self-kindness into your every day dealings with yourself:<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Listen out for how you speak to yourself. Is it with scathing criticism or with the deepest respect and encouragement? There are enough critics out there; you don\u2019t need another one occupying your head!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

     <\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Have a mantra that stops overwhelm. I use this one (it\u2019s a gem!): \u201cEvery day is progress\u201d. I acknowledge that whatever happens, whether I have a good or a \u2018worse\u2019 day, I have always made progress!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

       <\/p>\n

        \n
      1. When you have a win, make the time to celebrate it properly. So many women complete a task and immediately begin to focus on the next one. Enjoy and relish your successes.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

         <\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Instead of focusing on your end goal (which could be due for completion 2 years from now!), start to define each tiny win you have along the way as a major success. This way, you stay motivated throughout that longer project because you\u2019re regularly feeling like the true success that you are!<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

           <\/p>\n

          Rebecca Allen, COI of Illuminate Personal Growth, works with professional women to help them take their careers to the next level. If you are feeling underwhelmed by your lack of career progress, looking for support and encouragement and keen to learn new skills to improve your confidence prospects, then you\u2019re in the right place. We provide online career courses for women, live workshops and leadership trainings in Sydney as well as 1-1 executive coaching. Get in touch!<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

          All content is copyrighted. Should you wish to copy the whole or part of this article you must request this and wait to receive approval in writing.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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