Working Mothers’ Guilt and The Pandemic

The pandemic has shown us just how fragile mental health can be, especially when posed with unseen pressures and constant uncertainty…

And working mums have certainly bared the brunt of much of those pressures over the last 24 months.

If it wasn’t the enforced home-schooling…

Managing work-life balance (like never before)…

Or increased mental load…

It was the stress of financial pressures…

Concerns about job security…

Or isolation, solitude and severance from family and friends.

In Danielle Sherman-Lazar’s book, ‘It’s Ok to Not Be Ok: Adults Get Big Feelings Too’, she shares many home truths.

Here are some that hit home with me:

In our society, a mother suffers guilt no matter what she does.⁣ If she’s on top of her kids, making sure everything’s okay, she’s called a Helicopter Mom, and if she lets them run around as she sits on the side talking to a friend, she’s “neglectful”.⁣

If she prefers cooking from scratch and organic-everything, her kids are “going to go crazy on junk food when they go to someone else’s house.” And if she feeds them donuts and muffins for breakfast some mornings because she’s in a rush or just because, then her kids are “unhealthy”. ⁣

If she stays home with her kids, she should be working—”how can her family financially keep up?” But if she’s working, she’s met with “they’re only little once.”⁣

In a society that knows “everything” and places too many expectations on moms…

If you listen to everyone else,⁣ you’re always going to fall short.⁣ So, DON’T LISTEN,⁣ and stop feeling bad for your choices.⁣

Throw those internalized unrealistic expectations away and do what’s best for you and your family.⁣ It’s called your family for a reason.⁣

Besides, if you love your children and try,⁣ you’re a good mom.⁣

 

I’ve always held the view that you know what’s best for you and for your family…

And what other people think about you is their business – not yours. They’re judging you on their values, not yours.

Just as there’s no one way to cut a cake…

There’s no one way to parent well either!

What do you think?

What advice would you share to other working mums? Share your opinions below!

Rebecca x

 

Rebecca Allen is a Career Success Coach for corporate women who want to get promoted, be recognised and feel proud about themselves and the impact they’re making. They often want to be great role models for their children and, as well as being paid appropriately for their work, they want that work to make a positive difference in this world.