The Critical Difference Between ‘Needing’ & ‘Wanting’ To Be Liked

We all want to be liked. It’s natural.

Psychologists tells us that wanting to be liked stems from our earliest societies where belonging to a tight knit group was critical for survival.

The group would forage and hunt together, eat and live together.

But the need to be liked is different and has evolved over time:

Needing to be liked is about seeking approval from a much wider group… i.e. everyone and brings with it a range of heightened anxieties…

Because being liked by everyone is actually impossible, right?!

Have you ever said something like this to yourself:

“I don’t want to say that otherwise I’ll be judged (and ultimately rejected) by the group.”?

If so, that’s why we are digging deeper today!

 

 

Let’s go:

When I need to be liked…

Other people’s views can affect me negatively.

I might give greater weight to their opinion over my own.

I might want everyone to like me (which is a faulty expectation).

My response is personalised and emotional.

When I want to be liked…

Other people’s views don’t impact me because my worth isn’t dependent on what others might be thinking or might say.

I might hear others’ view but can weigh them up objectively.

I don’t expect everyone will agree with me.

My response is objective and rational.

 

What To Do About It

Do you know that your need to be liked is holding you back in life or in your career?

How is it impacting how others perceive you?

How is that impacting your leadership credibility?

How is it impacting your ability to sleep soundly?!

It might be time to start working on your mindset to set yourself up for greater success.

Wanting to be liked is so much more fun!  🙂

Rebecca x

P.S. You might love our super popular workbook, free to download right here:

Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs to Achieve Your True Potential