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You Could be Grieving Right Now & How to Manage It
The last few weeks have seemed like a bit of a blur. I’ve been in isolation with my family now for 4 weeks now and I think I’ve only just come out of the ‘shock’ fog.
At first I couldn’t process the enormity of what was (and still is) going on globally with the Covid-19 pandemic. I said to Ross, my partner, a couple of weeks ago, “I think what I’m experiencing here is ‘grief’.” I had just relaunched a new coaching workshop series, after a tremendous amount of work and excitement, and suddenly it was all on hold.
If, like me, you’ve felt shock and denial that “this isn’t really happening”, disbelief or anger, then the chances are you are moving through a process called ‘grief’ too.
You might be grieving the actual loss of someone special; the loss of income, security or stature; the loss of certainty and control; the loss of freedom. The fact that none of us knows when this period will ‘end’ only adds to this grief. Having felt many of these emotions myself in the last few weeks, I can safely say I’ve been grieving the change and uncertainty for our future.
However this fog has started to lift over the last few days and I am emerging more optimistic – back to my usual self. I recognise this to be an acceptance of what is happening and looking at how I can bring more positivity to the situation.
For some of us, isolation is a real opportunity in many respects.
In my case, isolation has enabled me to spend additional quality time with Ross and our two children in our new home.
We have been painting and building cardboard robots; performed (very amateurish) theatre shows; done a treasure hunt around the garden; baked with chocolate (the best!); and read together.
I’ve helped my 4 year old form his capital letters, learn some basic addition and we have drawn and coloured-in umpteen superheroes. That extra bonding has been precious and mutually beneficial.
In home ‘schooling’ our 8 year old daughter Elise for nearly 3 weeks, I’ve been able to really hone in on some trickier aspects of her learning and spend quality time with her ironing them out. She’s revelled in the extra focus and gained plenty of confidence in areas of her learning that she was previously finding hard. That’s a total result as far as I can see!
And for me personally, I have been reworking my business focus to look at how I can add additional value to you, my clients, during this time outside of my regular 1-to-1 executive coaching programme. Watch this space! 🙂
As a family we have enjoyed chats and gorgeous meals together. One evening, we decided to create a “Joy Jar”.
Every time anyone within our four walls wishes they could go out, do something, try something new, invite a friend round, visit a new place or a familiar one….or treat themselves to something scrumptious, be with a person they love to bits, host a party, go to the movies…. they write the idea down on a piece of paper, draw a big heart around it and pop it in the jar.
We have added all sorts of ideas including going to see grandparents; having a party; visiting the beach; sitting on our special bench at the park; visiting ‘Dinosaur Rock’; seeing our friends; and even ‘flying to the moon’!
When the beautiful day comes when we can all return to our normal lives, we will relish deciding which lovely idea to do first. Won’t we be supremely grateful just for the opportunity and freedom to attempt the activities currently being stored in our jar? I can’t wait! 🙂
Acceptance’ is the last stage of ‘grief’.
When you accept the circumstances for what they are, you are able to decide how to make your present moment better.
Grief is a very personal process and however long it takes you to reach this point is completely fine.
Be kind to yourself as you move through this process. Connect with others and check-in (we may be in isolation but we all need human connection). Create a “Joy Jar” and focus on the positive! 🙂
Before I wrap up I want to thank anyone working on the frontline of this pandemic – carers, nurses, doctors, midwives, ambulance paramedics, bus drivers, supermarket workers, bin men, delivery people and many more – because many of these heroes don’t have the choice to isolate and be with their loved ones. They go to work and look after strangers like us to help keep us fed, safe and healthy. I applaud them but more than that, I am deeply grateful for all that they are doing and sacrificing.
Stay healthy. Stay home! Take care I’ll see you soon.
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